With Us Every Step

When a new baby is born, family and friends are usually eager to visit as soon as possible. They arrive at the hospital with cards and gifts and catch a glimpse of the new life within a day or two of his or her birth. Because Max and Tyler have been living in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, they are only allowed to have 4 extra visitors during cold and flu season. Besides daily visits from their mom and dad, Tyler and Max have been able to meet their Aunt Molly and Big Jim (Grandpa Maguire) and Grandma Linda and Grandpa Sam Jones. Although we will have to be extremely careful to avoid germs for the first year or two of their lives, they will soon be able to meet the rest of their family and friends.

As seen on previous posts, there are many photos of Tyler and Max with all three grandparents during the first week of their lives and thereafter. Although there is no picture to prove it, the boys have also spent much more time with their grandma Susan. Susan is my mother who passed away exactly 8 years ago today. She was the most incredible mother and I was told recently that no other mother loved her children as much as our mom. She would have been the best grandmother too (although I know she wouldn't have let the kids call her Grandma.. it sounds too old!). I have always known that my mom is still with us, but her presence has been especially strong since the day I was admitted into the hospital for preterm labor. When the doctor told me that I was 3 centimeters dilated and having preterm labor - at only 23 weeks and 3 days along in my pregnancy - I was absolutely scared to death. The thought of delivering and losing our boys broke my heart - and I knew they just couldn't be born yet. While the medical team did all they could to stop my labor, I turned to my mom for help. She had always taught us the importance of positive thinking and visualization, so that's just what I did. Every morning and several times throughout the day, I visualized my mother standing next to God up in heaven. They were both sending bright white lights down to me, which gave strength to me and the babies. The light went through every part of my body and stayed extra long in my stomach. I then pictured my mom's hand blocking my dilated cervix and holding the boys inside. I did this every day until the day Max and Tyler were born. Although every extra day the boys stayed inside my womb was cause for celebration, 26 weeks gestation was the big goal to reach. Premature babies could survive before this point, but the doctors breathed a sigh of relief at 26 weeks and told us everything should be okay. Max and Tyler were born at 26 weeks and 1 day gestation. I know with all my heart that my mom was a huge part of this. She held those babies inside until our first big goal date, and then gave them one extra day for fun. Once the boys were born and fighting to survive in the NICU, I pictured my mom standing by their isolettes all day every day. When we couldn't be there to talk to our boys, she was there giving light and strength to them... and us.

My mom also used to say that everything happens for a reason, even though that reason might not be clear at the time. Does anyone wish to have extremely premature babies born three and a half months early? No. But we have been blessed with this experience and know that we've only just begun to see the good that will come from it. And I know my mom will be with us every step of the way.