A Real Handful

Last night our nurse Karen got our rocking chairs even closer together so one of us could hold both boys at the same time. Since they still need as little stimulation as possible, Andy was kind enough to let me hold them this time. Talk about a cool experience! I think it hit us all at once: Wow, we have TWO babies! With everything that has happened in the past 5 weeks, the excitement of having twins has sort of been put on the backburner. In a way I think it has allowed us to establish individual bonds with each boy, rather than immediately grouping them as "the twins." It is fascinating to see their personalities developing so early too. Tyler is already known by the nurses to have "attitude." He knows what he doesn't like and is not afraid to let you know! He whines and cries when he gets messed with too much, which is quite often. Max, on the other hand, is more laid back and doesn't seem as bothered by the constant activity in his isolette. It will be interesting to see if they hold true to our perceptions of them as they get older.

We were talking to our nurse Edra the other day about responding to the question, "How are the boys doing?" Depending on the day, the person and how in-depth of an answer they would like, we have many different responses. As a nurse, Edra's response was "As good as they can be doing for being born 14 weeks early." I think the same response is appropriate for explaining how Andy and I are doing. We make it out of bed every morning (harder some days than others), visit with our babies, handle our daily responsibilities, including working full-time for Andy, and return to the hospital almost every evening (and update the blog, of course). To be completely honest, it is exhausting. Aside from the emotional strain of having our very premature babies in the hospital and worrying about their short and long-term development, the daily routine of driving back and forth to visit is less than enjoyable. At a time when we should be eagerly awaiting the arrival of our boys and relaxing while we can, we are dealing with a stress that is more than we could have imagined. Some days it feels like we are slowly going crazy and simple decisions, like what's for dinner, seem impossible. But we make it through and know we are stronger because of it. Believe it or not, we wouldn't have it any other way. This experience has changed us and we know its positive impact on our future will greatly outweigh its challenges.

With all this being said, we know how extremely blessed we are that Max and Tyler are doing so well. Things could be A LOT worse, and we realize this. The silver linings of this situation, including our wonderful nurses, the love and support we've been receiving from everyone, the strengthening of our relationship, the blessing of hospital bedrest, and a new perspective on the miracle of life, certainly make things more bearable. Soon enough our boys will be at home and the stress of these months will start to dwindle. But until then, we will take it one step at a time and concentrate on the two biggest blessings in our lives: Tyler Francis and Max Andrew.

Talk about a handful!

Brothers together at last! Max was wide awake and staring at us the whole time, while Tyler just snoozed away.

Andy's hand giving some perspective on how tiny they still are

Bridget's hand next to Tyler